


I Lost My Soul (Long Ago)

by witch_lit



Series: The Misery of Alec Lightwood [11]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-24
Updated: 2012-10-03
Packaged: 2017-11-14 23:29:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/520632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witch_lit/pseuds/witch_lit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three Days Grace influence, two-shot about the repercussions of Alec going to kill Camille. Malec-y.... :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Time of Dying

Alec gasps for breath, his vision dotted with black and swirls of his life. He can barely breathe with the slashes across his chest, damn vampire, and the lost blood she consumed. He can't move, but he can feel a burning throughout his entire body, the effect numbed as moments of his life play across his mind, allowing him to see two worlds at once. He can see Magnus, he can see himself with Magnus, happy.

They're at the park, in New York, they're kissing...

_Did I fall asleep?_

_Is this all a dream?_

_Wake me up, I'm living a nightmare_

Alec’s breath comes in harsher and harsher pants, he’s not getting the oxygen he needs… He wants Magnus to be here with him.

He doesn’t want to be alone as he dies, but he’s burned that bridge… He wants Magnus, so, so much.

He wants them to be lost in each other again, like they were in Paris…

_I will not die, I'll wait here for you_

_I feel alive,when you're beside me_

He wants them to be together, he doesn’t want to die… He wants Magnus, but this is his fault, Magnus isn’t coming for him… He’s not coming for him.

Alec’s going to die in the subway tunnels of New York, the damp ground making his back void of heat as his skin is soaked. He can barely see through the haze of his own blood, the rushing noise in his ears that makes it so he can just barely hear the steady drip of water. God, he needs Magnus here, to calm him down, to distract him like he always does.

_I will not die, I'll wait here for you_

_In my time of dying_

But he’s not going to be able to wait for him…

With what strength Alec has left, he writes what he could call his final wish in his own spilt blood.

_Smile, don’t cry, I lov………._

Blood smears across the end of it as Alec’s limbs go limp and the erratic breathing stops.

It's later, a week, when they find Alec’s body. The rats are eating him, but the note is still intact. Those are his last words, and maybe they'll become just a little famous.


	2. Funerals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can smile for the camera I can feed you my heart I can lie lovin at you I can act my part But its not the way I wanted it to be But no one ever asked me? Alec doesnt make it out of the subway tunnels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimed.

Magnus gazed around at the familiar, and unfamiliar faces as he watched the crowd of downcast expressions. There were some people who barely seemed sad, some seemed bored, and that hurt. But there were the truly grieving faces, Isabelle's, Jace's, Maryse's, Robert's. He was invited to the funeral after Alec lost the battle to Maureen, and in that coffin, waiting to be burned, rests the man Magnus loved very much.

No one knew he and Alec had broken up, and Magnus was fine with that. Alec wasn't with him one way or another.

Magnus just threw on his blackest clothes, wiped off all his make-up and came to the funeral as invited. In Alec's last moments, while he was dying, he wrote a short note that cut off half way through. But it said to smile on his funeral day, he expects we won't cry. Some people are trying to smile, some are pulling it off without a worry, but those who really loved Alec can only blubber into each other's shoulders. Magnus knew this day was coming. He just didn't know it would happen so quickly.

He allows one tear to drop from his eyes as he says goodbye to the closed casket. Just one, as he feels his soul being ripped from his body and lost in a shred of despair and lost love.

There goes his Alec.

He'll never be near the body again, when they burn him and use his ashes to protect the living shadowhunters. This is his and Alec's last moment together. This is the end.

Magnus chuckles bitterly.

He's thrown away everything, only to lose it so far that it can't be retrieved. And now that it's gone, he wants it back.


End file.
